If you guys don't know my story go check it out! I would love for y'all to know.

Well anyway, I have been crying. Because I feel like it is totally my fault with my sexual abuse story. I was raped, molested, and sexually abused. I did not want to do so many things. And what did I have to do? Do it anyway. I hate it because my brother-in-law (abuser, rapist, what ever you want to call him) I have to act like everything is ok. I always blame myself that I didn't tell on him. I blame myself that my brother-in-law stole my virginity even thought I said yes, but he pretty much said if you tell anyone you lost it by me you will get in trouble. I feel so scared. I don't know why but I have been so well not crying at night. But all of a sudden everything is in my mind. Me having to touch his penis even though I said no. Him saying I will be in trouble if I tell on him. And having to make out even though I didn't want to. I feel like all of this is my fault!!!! I want to die. I blame myself!!!!