Hear my story

My name is Angelina, I am 14 years old and this is my story. I was born July 22nd 2004. My parents met in College. My parents hung out for a while and then started getting into a serious relationship they ended up getting pregnant and my mom had me when she was 18. My parents relationship was on and off so up until I was three I was back and forth between my grandparents house my mom's house and my dad's house. When I was with my mom she had a new boyfriend every week... when I was 2 I was raped by 7 men. My mom had become a meth head alongside her boyfriend when I was with my dad she would always invite girls over and they would always party and do drugs. But when I was with my grandparents I was safe. I don't remember much about my childhood before the age of 5 but I do remember a couple of things I remember when I was raped as if it was yesterday and I also remember watching my mom get beat up all the time. So when I turned three my dad had a custody battle with my mom and he won when I started out living with my dad it was okay at first but then he got his girlfriend pregnant with my little sister Sierra they ended up getting married because they thought it would be the right thing to do after my sister was born everything went to hell my dad and my new step mom neglected me and pretended that I wasn't there this went on for about a year so I learned how to take care of myself and then the year after my sister was born my little brother was born and that was my things really started getting bad i never really talked to my mom bc she never tried to reach out to me. When my brother was born my father started being abusive to me he would hit me and beat me over the smallest things we moved constantly my dad was always in and out of jail when I was about 7 years old I was raped again I don't know who the man is or where he is now but he was never prosecuted because my parents didn't believe me. My stepmother was also abusive physically emotionally and verbally she would give me pressure points and choked me until I passed out this happened for about 9 years when I turn to 10 I tried to commit suicide for the first time my parents had deprived me of food and locked me in my room and completely eliminated contact to the outside world. My grandparents found out was going on and called the police they took me away and sent me love my grandparents but that didn't work out so I moved across the country and lived with my aunt and uncle that I had never met before they had seven kids and I was raped by their three eldest Sons so I moved out of their house and went to my other grandparents house that was not a good fit for me either so State removed me and sent me to my mom's house. She was no longer addicted to drugs and was living an okay life she put me in Middle School and sixth grade went pretty well but not so much for 7th grade in 7th grade my mom found out that her boyfriend who she has two kids with was gay he cheated on her with many males and she was devastated she got very depressed and angry. See my mom has many in mental illnesses as do I she started verbally abusing and our relationship was completely destroyed but at the beginning of the Centigrade here I but at the beginning of the Centigrade here I but at the beginning of my 7th grade year I also met this boy at first it was a harmless Crush but then it grow into something more we dated on enough for about a year he cheated on me several times but I took them back anyway because I have fallen in love with him over the summer leading into my 8th grade year I lost my virginity to him on my 14th birthday we didn't use a condom and I got pregnant sadly I had a miscarriage after the miscarriage he was cold and distant and started physically abusing me but I never told anybody including my mom I wasn't in any contact with my dad at this point for about a year I continue to have sexual relations with this boy but then I fell in love with my best friend she was amazing! And saved my life many times I started self-harming at the age of 11 burning and cutting myself my best friend led me down a dark path we started stealing together and one day we got caught I called my mom and she came and picked me up and kicked me out of her house so I moved back in with my dad and he really is a better person now did we use has stopped and he and his wife have changed for the better. But even though I'm out of the bad situation I still feel so lost. I struggle with depression anxiety bipolar disorder reactive attachment disorder PTSD and other things. ( these are not self diagnosed I have been clinically diagnosed by a doctor ) so even though I am out of the bad situation I still have all of these problems and I don't know how to deal last Tuesday I had a manic episode and cut myself very severely my parents took me to the hospital and are talking about putting me on medication but I'm a little scared I have been on medication before I took Prozac a couple years ago but for anybody with depression and bipolar disorder you might know that most of the time you can't give depression medication to a person with bipolar disorder because most of the time it ends up making it worse so that is where I'm at today... I'm not look for attention or pity I don't even know what I'm posting this I kind of feel like I'm wasting your time but I need help so I'm finally asking for it...