Just. Gotta. Vent.

37+1 today and ladies.. I am just over it.

Admittedly, when I was pregnant with my older son I felt great all the way up to his birth at 39+2. I never hit that point of “get this baby out” that so many pregnant women hit in the last weeks of pregnancy. This time around.. oh how different it has been.

Maybe it’s the fact that I have a moody, ‘tudey soon to be three-nager this time around. (He turns 3 in December and his little bro is due November 12).. who knows. I was spared morning sickness this time around, when I was sick as a dog last time, but honestly I’d have taken that over the hell that this last trimester has been!

WICKED ‘roids that have been ever so present now for close to 3 weeks with no shrinking and no relief. I’ve become numb to the pain now as sad as that is! My doctor “warned me” that they’ll likely be worse after birth.. well no shit, Sherlock. These are already worse than the ass flower I developed postpartum! Pelvic and lower back pain that makes me practically stumble when I go from sitting to standing and have to take that first step. Exhaustion to the point that I am tired just thinking about getting up to pee for the 364858th time, I actually play the how-long-can-I-go-before-I-have-a-BH-from-waiting-too-long game. Puffiness and stuffiness that you can’t take a damn thing for.

With my older son, I had preterm labor (thankfully no dilation) at about 30 weeks and I recall having bouts of mild contractions here and there throughout the last weeks leading up to it. This time around? All I’ve been having these AWFUL Braxton Hicks that are so painful.. like super terrible, makes you wanna curl in a ball, period cramp sensation that last at least 3 minutes no matter what I do (water, lay down, move around, etc) but then.. NOTHING. I'll have one like that and it'll go on forever, and I’ll sit and wait for the wave to end hoping another will kick off and so forth, but nothing. And because my older son was a little early everyone has been saying “oh I doubt you’ll make it to November” or “I’ll bet he’s a Halloween baby” and originally I thought so too, but now I’m like just watch.. I’ll go late. I let it get into my head even though I swore I wouldn’t have any unrealistic expectations. Fail.

I’ve been trying to focus on the positives. I’ve kept my ankles for the most part even as I type this. I’ve had amazing BP (like 100-115/60-70) at every appointment. Baby is healthy above all and obviously very comfy inside his mama!

Of course you want them to “cook” fully and be healthy more than anything but at the same time, there are just these moments where I wanna scream GET OUTTT!!! I wanna have a talk with my uterus and be like listen.. either take a nice long nap until show time and chill with these useless contractions or shit and get off the pot! Lol! So, to end my rant.. I’ll just be hanging out impatiently, drinking my raspberry leaf tea, bouncing on my ball, and cleaning endlessly as I’ve been doing hoping my water will break during one of my many trips up and down the steps 😂 If you made it to the end, thanks for listening to me whine!

Speaking of wine.. I can’t wait 🤤🍷