My husband and I have been married for a year and are trying for our first baby. Unfortunately we are having trouble and I had a miscarriage last summer that nearly broke me.

Last night my husband bent me over his knee and spanked me out of nowhere with a hard stick. It hurt so bad to the point I couldn’t sit down afterwards and I was crying begging him to stop. He then turned me over and demanded that I give him a child as he came inside me.

I laid there and didn’t say a word to him while he got his clothes back on and left me there crying. He left the house without even telling me where he was going and stumbled in drunk at 3am.

The next morning (today) he acted like nothing happened at all, but said he had a bad hangover headache and demanded that I make him breakfast. I told him to “fuck off” and he slapped me so I confronted him about the night before and he told me he did it because he’s mad that I haven’t given him a child yet and he’s “fed up with my body fucking things up” and kept getting in my face asking me if I’m a woman or not, because women have babies.

As of right now I am typing this at my parents’ house. I packed all of my things while he continued screaming at me. I have never seen this side to him before... he has never laid a hand on me before this except to show me love. It makes no sense to me at all. Now he’s texting me begging for forgiveness saying his friend told him that he did this to his wife and it “scared her body into having a baby” and he said he’s just looking out for our future family.

He sounds like a psychopath and I have never ever seen this side to him. We dated for 5 years before getting married. I’m just so confused and hurt and I don’t know if I should take him back or get a divorce. I never thought I would be a girl going back to someone who abused her but I love him and don’t know if I should throw everything we have away because of one bad decision and behavior 😢