LONG POST.

My husband and I have been together for 2 years. We got married in July and we moved across the US, since my husband is in the military.

At the beginning of our relationship I noticed my husband (then boyfriend) was liking a lot of posts from a girl. I wasn’t aware of who the girl was so I confronted him about it. He told me that she was an ex who he dated right before me. Apparently she had cheated on him while he was in basic training and do they broke things off. After his basics training he came home for a couple weeks and that’s when he met me. We met at a local concert in our hometown. We began dating.

My husband (then boyfriend) got sent to a different state to where he was stationed. We spent a lot of time communicating through the phone. A couple months later my husband came home for the holidays and I noticed he was messaging the same girl(his ex) he was liking posts of on social media. Some of the messages were sexual on her end but he wasn’t denying any of her messages, she wanted him to come see her while I was at work. I became very upset and told him how I felt, he said he never went to see her and that she meant nothing. He stopped talking to her and blocked her on all social media.. my husband then had to go back to where he was stationed so we went back to long distance. Every time my husband would come home for visits i never found and messages from her again.

Now fast forward to this last summer, we got married in July. In September I found messages from his ex. This time the conversation was casual, he made first move on contacting her. His ex had enlisted into the army and he was giving her advice on things and what to do. One of the messages caught my eye because he said he wished that she didn’t enlist so that he could have someone to hangout with when he gets out of the army and we move back. I was very heart broken... I confronted him about this and told him how much it hurt me for him to talk to her. I just don’t understand his reasoning why he needs to talk to her. He told me that his guy friends would judge him if he talked about his feelings and his problems. I get that he needs someone to talk to besides me, but I do not like the fact that it has to be an ex.

I get very self conscious about myself when it comes to her because there have been times that I feel like I need to compete against her for my own husband. My husband has reassured me multiple times that I’m his only one but I still can’t get over the fact that he wants to talk to her and hangout with her even if they are just friends. He also has her on his Snapchat which I’ve deleted her multiple times because how am I supposed to know what she sends my husband... like now a days being married doesn’t stop people from cheating or doing things with others.

Does anybody have any advice on what I should do or how I can ease my self confidence

NO HATE COMMENTS PLEASE.