Is this fair between my husband an I!?

Trying to make this as un-bias as possible. I don’t think I necessarily do more, or he does more. I’m just keen to know your opinion if our life seems fair or if one of us needs to step up!

So he works full time, 40 hours. I work part time, 2-3 days a week.

He pays for our rent, bills and food and himself. (Phone bill, clothes, toiletries, train fair for work and computer parts/games/updates)

I pay for our daughter (diapers/wipes, clothes, toys, birthday & Xmas presents, outings and stuff) as well as myself (phone bill, clothes, coffee/lunch whilst out with my daughter, makeup, toiletries)

Obviously he gone 5 days out of the week at work, not to mention commute time.

I, for the most part (aside from when I’m at work obviously) am the homemaker, I do all chores and housework and also take care of our daughter - this includes when my husband is home, I still do all the evening/nightly chores and childcare. However, my husband cooks dinner ..(I despise and am awful at cooking, however he enjoys it.. otherwise I would make dinner)

Does this sound like a fair lifestyle?

Sometimes I feel horrible and lazy like I’m not doing enough and other times I wish he would help more out.

Then obviously family have their opinionated says on who does what and who does more when they don’t actually know the ins and out so I really just wanted an opinion based on all the information I have provided!

247 views • 3 upvotes • 6 comments

COMMENT (6)

mo

Posted at
it's sounds like y'all are splitting the at home work load right down the middle! i'm sure if he or you needed more help you could talk about it. and as far as you feeling like you're not doing enough, i believe you are. i do find it odd that y'all don't share a bank account and pay for everything together. but i guess it works differently for different people

Ne

Posted at
It sounds like y’all are happy with your arrangement? So why care what other people think?

An

Posted at
What works for one may not the other. As long as you two are ok with it then don't worry about others opinions.

Hi

Posted at
If it works, then it works. I personally wouldn’t be okay with that lifestyle but if you are that’s all that matters.

Ne

Posted at
Well, your lifestyle is similar to mine (kinda). My fiancé works full time Monday - Thursday. I’m a full time stay at home mom to our 9 month old. He does all the work outside of home & brings in all the money. Including paying for everything (bills, food, toiletries, diapers, wipes, formula etc). I do everything for our son as well as all the house work (cooking, cleaning etc). I personally feel as if he could help more on the days he’s off (Friday - Sunday) but he’s glued to his PlayStation the entire time he’s off. We have had SEVERAL arguments & came very close to separating. Including him going to his mothers house for a few days & us taking a break. Nothing has really helped except for me to step back & realize he’s just not gonna change. He feels as if he shouldn’t have to do anything outside of working & supporting us. I feel as if he can also take care of his son when he’s off work & let me have some ‘me’ time or just time to relax in general. I have let it go & sometimes it does bother me, but someone’s gotta do it.

Ha

Posted at
Sounds exactly like my life except I also do all the cooking! I'm happy with it 🤷🏻‍♀️