Life after divorce....

So its been almost 2 months since I saw him last. And today is a day where I miss him even though I shouldn’t be. He tried me wrong. I was alone in my marriage for so long and suffered through him cheating.

I think the hardest part was that we were trying to conceive for almost a year. And my heart and soul was so into it. From baby making, to reading about being new mom, to imagining what it would be like to having a baby bump...I was just so involved in that next part of my life. And it it was also a form of stress and anxiety and pressure to have a baby. Which I think is normal when you really really want something so badly; like I did with wanting a baby. He also did to which was strange. So the hardest part was living in that world of moving on in my life and trying to build my dream of having baby - to it’s crashing down with a snap of a finger when I found out he was cheating...CHEATING FOR OIR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP! I couldn’t breath. I was numb. I was in outer space. I was not me. My world was not the same anymore.

I am in a far better place now. But i get these weak moments like today were I can’t breath and just want that dream back and not go through starting all over again. Is that so bad? Is anyone else out there that feels how I feel? Does anyone know what to do next?

I also just want to let other women out there know that if you feel that you can’t leave him, YOU CAN LEAVE!! It will be the easiest thing you have ever done because the hardest part is staying. Trust me.