is this abuse?

i have been out of this relationship for a while (we broke up in august of 2017), but im looking back now because of recent drama and wondering if it was worse than i originally thought

things were great at first and it was my first relationship so i was just generally excited to be there. however, a problem developed as time went on; i have a very low sex drive and am TERRIFIED of the idea of having sex (specifically scared of the consequences) while he was the polar opposite. he would frequently try to coerce me into doing shit that i didnt want to do and he would say it in a joking kind of way so i dont think i perceived it as being as bad as it really was. he talked me into oral and i hated it, but after i did it once he refused to do anything unless i sucked his dick first. i wanted to go out into the world and experience life, but he wanted this and refused to go anywhere with me unless he got something sexual out of it. i cried about it in front of him on multiple occassions and he didnt really do anything, but one time i was crying and trying to explain why i was scared and shit and he just casually took out a knife?? and i have terrible anxiety (it was even worse back then because i had just lost a close friend of mine to a heroin overdose and was really shaken up) so i started freaking out even more. on a couple occassions he dismissed my mental illnesses and said i was fine when i tried to talk to him about what i was going though (he had also seen my self harm scars so he knew i wasnt okay). we only ever got to do what i wanted to do twice. once was our first date in which i took him to see star wars, the other was on my birthday when we went into the city. every other time it was just me having to pleasure him.

it also didnt matter how much i would protest. i could keep telling him how much i didnt want to and he would just keep insisting until i caved. there were also a couple occassions in which he tried to trick me into having sex with him?? like he would tell me to take my underwear off without saying why (if i asked why he would just say "dont worry about it") and then would go to take his off and i would get up and say no and he would just say shit like "oh come on"

i had a couple of weird flings with him after we broke up because i still had feelings, but only now am i starting to realize how shitty things were after i cut him off the other day when he sent me unsolicited self harm pics and acted like it was no big deal

but yeah... is this abuse? or am i just overreacting?