I hate my body I’ve always been big. I am recovering from anorexia, bulimia, starving myself, idk what to call it but I’m obsessed over my bone structure. Like my cheek bones and collar bones... I loved how they showed. I’m also a recovering drug addict. I gained over 100lbs since these pictures

I was95lbs my biceps were so small I could wrap my hand around them. Just one one... got pregnant in December 2017 at 180lbs jumped up to 210 after I I had given birth to my daughter in August. I look sickening... im fat and ugly...

And my eating disorders are back... i can’t keep food down I’ve eaten like 3/4 times in 2-3 weeks... and I throw it up 90% of the time. I want to lose weight healthy not this wAy. I’m down to 160lbs. This is mid August to now. Even the beginning of October to now is bad

This is October 3rd

I’ve always battled with my weight... I’m smaller now than I was when I was doing drugs. My work pants from last December when I was fighting addiction are too big on me. I’m terrified of getting back down to 95lbs because I was hospitalized multiple times because I couldn’t keep food down when I was fighting it. But I LOVED my body. I used to model, do ballet, I loved going out and being with friends! Now I don’t leave the house because I hate my body again. I just want to love my body again

This shirt was too small a few weeks ago.

I go to a counselor but it doesn’t stop me from hating myself. Watching the numbers go down make me happy...