Will it ever happen?

I’m so scared. Scared it will never happen again for us. Scared that I’ll never feel that wholeness, happiness, or sense of a purpose again. My heart hurts An at times my body hurts from the sadness An wordiness I feel. Everyone says it will happen when it’s suppose too... it will happen when you stop trying... I can’t even bottle this. This is everything I want and it may never happen. Every where I look their are babies, pregnancy, and happy looking families. Lost my daughter at 20 weeks due to incompetent cervix November 2016and lost my second baby July 2017 due to chromosomal abnormalities at 9weeks. How do I go from having two babies to now not even ovulating. My body is shutting down an abandoning me. I feel like I have been stripped away from mother hood. My bloodwork is normal doctor can’t figure out anything wrong with me. But here I am..On my third round of clomid I was so hopeful, but in my heart I just know. I know it isn’t going to happen for me. I pray constantly for this blessing. I still have hope but I just know it won’t happen again this month. I’ll go to take a test An it will be negative an I’ll have to start the process an disappointment all over again. I’m like a hamster on a wheel, trying so hard but not getting anywhere. Sorry just had to get this sadness out instead of keeping it in. My heart just feels disheartened. But I can’t give up.. its everything I could possibly want. Best wishes everyone. I pray for all of us to get our babies one day. 💕