EXTREMELY LONG

So I’m 14 weeks pregnant with my 5th pregnancy last baby I lost at 13 weeks the baby I had before that one my 3rd she’s now 2 is the baby I’ll be referring to in this story. When I went into labor we were so excited packed up the car with her car seat and diaper bag coming home outfits and all that Jazz a whole backseat full lol we go to the hospital do the routine pee in a cup listen to heartbeat get a room start laboring yada yada it was a long exhausting 42 hours of labor but finally she was born. Absolutely perfect 6 pounds 1 oz just perfect. They did all her vitals checked her out ect she was great. When they put her diaper on her they attached this little plastic bag to her vagina that had a cotton ball in it and I said what’s this for they said checking her urine I’m like okay that’s weird but whatever I’m tired after 2 days of labor and just enjoy my baby some hours later a nurse comes in and says would you like me do to her first bath over here on the warmer I said sure that’s fine so when she does she takes that little plastic bag off her vagina and puts it in her pocket not in a bag or anything just sticks it in there weird to think about looking back on it but in the moment I didn’t think anything. A few hours later in walks a random lady and I’m like can I help you she said she was the hospital social worker and I said ok I don’t need your services I know how to care for a child she proceeded to tell me that she’s notified dcs and the police and they are on their way because my baby tested positive for COCAINE! I have never in my fucking life done cocaine I was irate. I was a fucking wreck. My boyfriend was at the gas station I called him and said get your ass here now! He almost got kicked out of the hospital throwing these people out of our room. My dr came and talked to them and said there’s absolutely no way possible whatsoever that this is accurate re test her and the baby apparently in my initial urine collection 2 days prior they drug tested me which was 100% clean from any drugs. So 6 hours went by between the first and second test on my baby and she was clean in the second test but I made them let me apply the bag to her and I put the bag in the lab bag and I sealed it and signed our names. That wasn’t good enough. Dcs and the police came into my hospital room and took my newborn who wasn’t yet released to the nursery and said we could go there with her but had to be supervised at all times by hospital staff. I was breastfeeding and they said I had to pump or supplement. I said my baby will not get formula because some moron fucked up. I pumped like a cow. That next day we had to leave our newborn and go to court to face a judge who didn’t let us talk at all he said he ordered a poop drug test on her as well. We go back to the hospital and be with our baby in the nursery. She was released from the hospital at 4 days old and dcs workers came and took her. We drove home with an empty car seat a full diaper bag. Everything. I felt like I was going to die. I was a mess. We got to see our baby fully supervised by dcs in a conference room for 1 hour a day Monday thru Friday. I had to pump like a mad cow to ensure that she wasn’t receiving formula whatsoever. We hired a lawyer paid her $1500 to go to bat for us. The judge didn’t care. We went to court again a few days later and he said until the poop test comes back clean she isn’t coming home. I called the labs doing the poop test daily. Finally 10 days later 14 days old the dcs caseworker called me on a Sunday afternoon and said how about I bring your baby home. I got the call that she’s clean. I lost it. I said I TOLD YOU she was crying too she said I know I knew it wasn’t true this was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my job taking a baby from people who didn’t deserve to lose this child and that’s why on a Sunday evening I’m going to be helping you bring your family together instead of being with mine. It was so awful and traumatic and here I am pregnant and scared as hell. I refused the drug test at the drs office and politely explained why I wouldn’t be doing it. I’m going to a different dr different hospital 2 hours away but I still have no comfort in it. I’m absolutely terrified idk what the laws are on the testing of the baby when he’s born. A lot of me wants to have the baby at home and not go to the hospital but I know that can be very dangerous for me and him. Idk what to do. Every day is a countdown to a blessing and a terrifying experience.