Sadness

The sadness that you can feel in heart. The pain, the heaviness. That's what I feel, but x10. My baby girl was supposed to be born soon, November 27. But I lost her. Her heart stopped beating. It was the worst day of my life. And I've had some bad days. My sister is pregnant. In fact, she's due next month. We went supposed to be pregnant together.. But her baby lived. Don't get wrong, I would never wish harm on a baby.. But my sister would talk about, ending her pregnancy, how she doesn't want it...I would give anything! Anything, to still have my daughter. I would sell my soul, in heart beat, just to hear hers again. My secret, I'm so fucking sad. I hate my sister for being so selfish! Everyone gets to continue to live on, while I'm standing on the side lines, not wanting to, because my life stopped the moment hers did... They said God needed her more.. They are wrong.. I need her.. Me.. she's was the only good thing in my life, the only thing.. And now she's gone..I love you my sweet sweet angel. And maybe soon we can meet...