Going back to work advice

Hey guys, I need some advice (I'm posting this in multiple places so I'm sorry in advance if anyone sees it more than once)

I had my first on October 5th, just over four weeks ago. My dr medically cleared me to go back to work next Monday the 12th. My husband wants me to go back as soon as possible because he just lost his job and money is really tight. I dont kind helping. My problem is that I've only been away from my son ONCE since he was born and that was this morning for my pp checkup. I cried from the house to the drs then had multiple panic attacks until I got back home. Even though I knew my son was with his dad who is fully capable of taking care of him, I barely handled leaving him.

How do I handle going back to work? Is 5 weeks pp too soon? I honestly dont know what to do. I dont even like showering because I have to be out of sight from my son.

For a little more background on me, I've struggled in the past with depression, anxiety and a few other behavioral health issues. I was very level without medications throughout my pregnancy but my anxiety how is terrible. I see a therapist but she currently isnt super helpful and my insurance is being unhelpful in letting me find someone new.