Tw: sexual trauma. Not sure how to move on

My bf and i have been having big issues for a while. We decided to really try to make things work and hes working with his therapist on couples activities we can do to build our relationship back up. We"ve started talking abt having sex for the first time in like 3 weeks (we've been fighting and or\ trying to make things work that whole time) ive started to realize i just dont want that right now. In our two year relationship i only ever felt good abt our sex life in the beginning couple of months after we first started dating. He used to tell me how much i drove him crazy and how he couldnt talk after i went down on him cuz i was too good, etc. Now his idea of "flirting" is making me feel like im not doing enough to drive him crazy. I try to be so complementary while we have sex and make him feel so good abiut myself, but hes just always tearing me down. Im realizing this situation is causing actual trauma for me. Hes never forced me into doing anything or tried to coerce me in any way, but this is almost its own kind of trauma. Idk what to do at this point. Ive been trying lately to connect back to my body with excercise and dance and masturbation, and im feeling empowered. I dont know if i can move in from the way hes made me feel about sex with him though.