Hey everyone! So my husband is VERY vanilla and our sex life is getting very routine. Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying it, I orgasm every time but I’m trying to think of ideas to spice it up without him feeling uncomfortable so it doesn’t end up super boring as eventually it will. We’ve been together 2 1/2 years and we’ve had an established sex routine for basically all of it.

Usually the routine is cuddling while the bed warms up, then light touching while laying side by side, then he will finger me with one finger until orgasm. Then if he wants sex it’s usually missionary, rarely but sometimes doggy style, and occasionally foreplay me on top. I’m not good on top and 15 weeks pregnant and already overweight (he isn’t) I have just never known what to do and don’t feel sexy doing it. If he doesn’t want sex, I’ll sit up and give him a two handed handy. (Must say I’m pretty dang good at that.) When I’m feeling it I’ll give him some oral foreplay. He’s only done oral foreplay for me once, one of the first times we were intimate 2 years ago. I’ve asked him why he hasn’t done it again (if I taste bad or something) he said he just never thinks about it. I’m not too bummed because it’s more foreplay than orgasm reaching for me anyway, but I just hope it wasn’t gross for him or something.

- Endurance is a challenge as I’m overweight and pregnant

- He might be okay with looking at a sex store online, (vehemently refuses to go inside a store) but I really doubt he will like any of the toys.

- He’s pretty okay with is restraints (under the bed handcuffs and footcuffs, but that’s still one of us laying down).

- Neither of us are okay with porn.

- My body has never fit any lingerie, if you know a place that can work with a 36I (US) size 8/10 I would be forever in your debt!

- He might be okay with being intimate in a riskier place, I haven’t done that since I was a teen and had to! 😂

- I’ve tried talking to him about sexual preferences and we even downloaded an app that asked questions and showed what you matched on, and ladies it wasn’t much to work with! He doesn’t really like opening up about it, I’m not sure if he doesn’t know what to say, or if he really doesn’t have anything to add since we are doing all of it already.

Don’t get me wrong I love my husband and we actually make love which is amazing. I could be fine with our routine forever since I feel that we actually make love and I do orgasm every time. I would like to spice it up sometimes though and I’m not sure how giving birth will affect my sex drive and orgasms.

I’m not sure if laying down the whole time is mostly normal or if it’s really vanilla. I’m pregnant so I’d like to spice things up a bit before I get too big and routine happens again because it has to! What might be a good way to ask him to finger me with two hands without flat out asking? He’s done it before and I’ve made it a point to be VERY vocal about how good it feels but he’s only done it twice. Is it normal to be laying down for most of it? Is it normal to get into a routine and only occasionally do something different?