Well, I did it.

I left my emotionally/verbally abusive relationship. And it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do... because I loved him. So much. To see his reaction when I told him that I'm unhappy and I have been for a long time... it broke my heart even more.

He means well, but it wasn't worth... he wasn't worth it. Our happy times weren't worth the sad times. He belittled my emotions because he's so out of touch with his own. He always had to be right. He couldn't take criticism. He played victim. (Survey says: NARCISSIST). He was just oblivious for most of the relationship.

It took me a whole year to accept that I was just in this relationship because I didn't wanna be alone. He was in the relationship for the same reason and he told me that! How could I be so blind and stupid? All of the red flags were there and I'm just sitting there letting the red flags pass me. *face palm*

He made it clear he wasn't going to change... he made it clear that he doesn't take time out to self-reflect. Who would wanna be with someone like that??? I think that main issue was that we got together so abruptly and didn't get to know one another first... and we began learning each other as the relationship went on and I saw that we weren't so compatible. I'm sure he didn't see that because he was so desperate to be in a relationship, not wanting to be alone.

All I can do is just pray for his mental health and let him go... hopefully he will learn and treat the next girl better than he treated me.

But why do I feel so sad?? Like I made the wrong decision?? I hate break ups so much but it had to be done. I hope I feel better soon.