Im just so hurt. Please give advice

Lately I’ve been noticing a lot of things about my relationship. How my bf doesn’t show me he loves & cares about me, how I often feel neglected by him or like I don’t matter, how he always brags about his past relationship and how long they were together and how hurt he was, how insecure he makes me feel. He always tells me I don’t deserve anything from him. It makes me feel really bad I’ve been crying for 3 days straight because I WANT to leave but my stupid heart is holding me back. My head is TIRED & ready but my heart just wants to keep loving him & hoping he’ll change. In the beginning he always showed me he cared and would always want to work us out now he just calls me crazy and delusional. I told him he acts like he doesn’t love or care abt me and he says I’m delusional and he doesn’t know what to say to me. I can’t get over this feeling I’m so crushed because he was supposed to be the one to show me different. He was my first real relationship I’m in college btw & we don’t live together. He was the first guy I’ve really gave my all to and he took my virginity. In the past I’ve always just tlked to guys & they didn’t make the cut so I never really ended up broken hearted ever or was stuck on how to move on. I usually move on pretty fast but with this I’m stuck. My heart just HURTS. He tells me how if I look on his social media when they were together (they broke up last yr but still had contact, they stopped tlking and blocked each other about 1-2 months in when we were talking) he said she’s the only girl he was truly sick over and I hurt my own heart cause I did read the stuff he posted about her and he was sooooo in love and it crushed me because I wish he’d be like that over me. I envy that... I don’t feel good enough for him and he doesn’t make me feel secure . When i tell him he doesn’t love me he says I didn’t say that you’re Trippin and he says I always argue with him but the reason for that is because he doesn’t do what he’s supposed to. He doesn’t show me love & that he cares. He used to just not anymore and we’ve been together almost a year. I don’t want to do anything, I don’t want to eat or tlk to anymore or even get up I just want to lay in bed all day and melt but I can’t. I cry all the time, I was omw to school this morning sitting in my car and just couldn’t wait to go home and cry after my first class. My head is fucked up because I thought he’d be different. I’ve tried with him and all I did was love him to get nothing in return. We’re still together but I can’t take it anymore it’s easier for him to just go than me so I’d rather him do that. He doesn’t care if I walk away from him he always tells me to just leave. He always laughs at me when I’m sad and says I’m dramatic he never takes the time out to assure me he loves and cares about me or does nice gestures. He always says he loves a girl that doesn’t ask for anything but makes you want to give them. I haven’t asked him for Shit since we met and he still doesn’t do anything nice for me. He told me people are shocked he’s even still with me and I said why is it because I’m not good enough for you wtf . Ik im a beautiful girl his family even called me a upgrade but he has brought my self esteem so low I’m 2nd guessing myself. He said he felt worthless in his past relationship and I told him that’s how he makes me feel he KNOWS the feeling but he’s making me feel that way when I tell him that he says “I haven’t done shit to you man” Half the time he tells me don’t text him unless it’s about anything good. He’s just so fake and I know I’m not his type because of the kind of girls photos he shares and likes I look nothing like them and they all fall onto 1 type. I’m just feeling so much regret rn and idk what to do. Pls help. He also says I’m doing too much and I’m too emotional