We used a condom.... 😕

My husband and I have discussed having baby #4, ALOT recently and last night as we were getting ready to have sex I told him to put a condom on. He says “I thought we were going to try for a baby,” and I flat out said I wasn’t ready! 😩😭 What is wrong with me, why am I so scared to “try” for a baby. I get so freaking nervous, like I’ve never had kids before. Have any of y’all experienced fear and anxiety when your ready to try for another baby? I woke up this morning feeling defeated, I want another baby, but then again I don’t.