HELP ASAP PLS
Before I get bombarded with comments such as “you are selfish.” “You are ungrateful” “you are stupid.” Please just hear me out. I have been suffering with depression and anxiety all my life I have been pleasing everyone around me. My parents are hardworking people we came from a country in poverty. So they value education so much and want me to reach for the stars. The thing is, that’s not what I want. I want a simple life and I don’t want to be a lawyer, a doctor, a professor. I applaud those who do but I don’t want that. I am 18 years old and my parents provide everything for me and all they ask is I focus on my studies. What I fear is that after college I won’t know shit about life because they won’t let me drive, they wont let me work to buy a car, they won’t let me struggle. It’s crazy right that I’m actually wanting them to let me struggle? They always tell me I should be thankful they’re not like my friends parents or my boyfriends parents that let them work. I’m also this 18 year old who has to ask her parents for money and rides everytime she goes out. Then they get mad at me and say I’m acting like a child when they never let me do anything. Mistakes are a no, if I make a mistake I’m a disappointment. I have no motivation for education anymore if I’m going to be quite honest. My parents banned me from drawing and entered me in a math club which gave me 100 packets of homework everyday for 2 years when I finally took the chance and got out. I feel like I don’t know myself. I dont know what I want or maybe I do but I can’t do it because I don’t want to disappoint my parents. Honestly I really just wanted to go to a technical college and get a certificate and work somewhere. Earn money, get a car, possibly move out. Pursue an actually College degree when I have figured myself out but my parents would never understand that. I’m so stressed and sad because I see my grades and they’re C’s and B’s I’m trying to be an LPN which is a two year associates degree in nursing but my hearts not in it. What do I do?