Whats it like to be a mama?💕

I tooks care of 5 kids at age 12, i didnt have the best life growing up, parents were never around and my aunt was never around for her kids so i had to take care of them, she had a 5 y/o and 3 y/o and an 8 month old and my mom had a 1 year old and a 5 year old and i took care of them all..made bottles, changed diapers, put them to sleep, made food to eat, bathed them, everything. My sister and i moved with my uncle and my little brother with his dad and my aunts kids went to foster care..as i grew up i always wanted to be a mom, i know its harder because i need to buy clothes, food and pampers and wipes and incase they get sick i need to buy them everything they'd need, i know that i need to be financially and physically and mentally ready and i feel like i am 2 out of three of those..i just need to get a job and a good one, my fiancé is Air Force and mad i want a baby so bad but he wants to wait and I completely understand it all..i just feel like once im a mom I'd feel complete. I've always wondered whats its like to carry a child in your womb and deliver the baby from your own body and taking him or her home for the first time😔I really am ready but its hard because my fiancé isn't 😔