My boyfriend and I are both 20, we have been together for 5 years. We have a three-year-old son and a 5 month old son.

Just after our first son (he was about a month old) was born I found my boyfriend on private social medias and found him messaging other girls. He was mostly the more aggressive one saying he wanted to have sex with them, he wanted to be in a relationship with them, or he wanted them to send him sexual pictures all while we were together. When I found out I told him that I was done with the relationship. Being that he is the only one I've been with sexually, this was a stab to the heart.

I ended up creating a social media of my own out of spite, and after that a guy I knew through mutual friends reached out to me. Long story short we started texting everyday for the past week and had a genuine connection. He really just helped me get my mind off of my sons father at the time.

We just talked about having a relationship sometime in the future because I wasn't ready for that just yet after just getting out of a relationship. So I ended up meeting him at a local park and we basically just talked and I hugged him afterwards. I saw him as more of a shoulder to lean on than a "rebound." We had never done anything sexual together over this amount of time.

Eventually I decided I wanted to be back with my sons father and cut off all ties with the other guy I was talking to. I eventually told my sons father about the guy I was talking to and told him that we met up and were texting. He said he didn't believe the whole story. Long story short this converstaion passed (so I thought)

Fast forward to a couple months ago when I noticed he was acting off. And us girls can sense things. So at this point in our relationship I want to get engaged and I bring up what kind of ring I want and I want him to ask me to marry him where we first met etc. And our anniversary was coming up so I thought just MAYBE. You know 5 years and 2 kids later you'd think it would come soon (but we are still young). Our anniversary was November 6th, the day before our anniversary, we argue, because he "isn't ready to commit or get married anytime soon". He has always been this way and has always been so closed off, especially about marriage. I always try to make excuses for him not wanting to get married but I shouldn't settle for anything less than what I want. You can commit to having 2 kids but cant commit to the only person you've had a serious relationship with? Right. So I knew something was off. I end up figuring out his passwords to his social media and notice that he had been messaging other girls (again) it was on snapchat so it wouldn't let me load all of the messages. But I noticed he was talking to girls sexually I have never seen or heard about before. He told me that one of the girls he was talking to had an STD so I had nothing to worry about. So you think I'm going to believe that you are going to continue to talk to someone who has an STD? He also messaged one of my old friends asking for her snapchat and other social medias. He says the reason for this is because he cant get over the fact that I talked to another guy 3 years ago. Are you kidding? You put me through THE MOST but you cant get over me talking to another guy. I told him I no longer so a future with him and i dont want to be with him anymore. The main problem is that he doesnt have anywhere to go. His mom lives 30 minutes away with her and 4 of his siblings living in a 3 bedroom apartment. So best kind of stuck here and cant afford to move out on his own. The reality is that we have never been broken up for longer than a month and we are all we know so I'm struggling say apart from him while he stays on my couch. I keep telling myself that I deserve someone that will do the little things for me and appreciate me but it's so hard to stay strong when he isn't too far. It has just been a couple days but I literally haven't even gotten an apology or even an explanation as to why he continues to disrespect me. I just need any kind of positive advice as I'm going through this. I literally have no one to turn to and I dont usually bother anyone with this kind of stuff.