I’m 20 years of age and from when I was ten I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression which developed into anorexia at 13 and at 14 I was admitted to a psych ward for 8 months and been in and out of counselling since this I have always had low self esteem and a few months ago planned to take my own life, ivebeen with my partner for 4 years almost and we have had unprotected sex for the last four years one of us is in fertile and I never really thought much about it until recently. His brother is having a baby and his cousin also both due now this month he has been asked to be god father to both, I feel so awful for saying this but I know all his time will be spent with his new god children and I feel so useless and excluded because I don’t really have much of a relationship with his brother and cousin I feel isolated lost and sad that why do I deserve this on top of everything else it is a constant of up and down shit and I just cant get a break and I don’t know if I can keep up anymore.