I have some crazy emotions going right now. Bear with me, this is a long story. Last week, my sister received a message on 23andMe from a woman who is genetically our first cousin. We'll call her Maria. She also matched with an aunt on Ancestry. She grew up believing her mom's husband was biologically her father, but he's since been estranged and her mother died last year. Maria believes it was a one night stand and the father never knew.

My aunt has talked to all her brothers, and one in particular has taken a defensive position. He referred to her as dirty laundry that will make one of them look bad. So, we don't know which uncle fathered her, but there's at least suspicion.

I have so MANY emotions! Disappointed in my uncle, angry his response, and so friggin bitter. I'm 32, TTC #1 and am infertile. I can't get pregnant no matter how many prayers I say, how much BD, or how healthy I make my body. THEN I find out my HYPOCRITICAL uncle had an alcohol-fueled one night stand and knocked up a stranger. Now, 40 years later he wants to dodge responsibility and pretend his daughter doesn't exist. (Presumably his, we don't know for sure. I get that it's unfair to think he's Maria's father, but that's my best guess)

What. The actual. ForK. Where is MY baby? How lucky is my uncle to get another one?? I want to cry for Maria for never knowing her paternal family and I feel for my other cousins who might think differently about their father. And I'm so depressed every month at AF shows up.

Sorry for the long post, I had to vent.