I delivered our sleeping boy at 20 weeks on October 12. At first, we decided we wanted to try again right away instead of living in the heart wrenching world where we are parents without a baby and nothing to look forward to. Now, and I apologize if this is TMI, when we go to try, I break down and cry. Obviously I'm not as ready as I thought I was, but I also have no idea how to move forward. When does being with your husband become loving again instead of a flashback to the worst thing that's ever happened?

It was a horrible pregnancy from the beginning. I was in the ER every three days because of hyperemesis gravidarum, we lost him at 20 weeks, and then I went through gall bladder attacks from the drastic weight loss and hormonal swings. I was ready to potentially go through all of that again if it could give our angel Leeland a little brother or sister. Then we found out that my brother and his wife are pregnant. Now there is a whirlwind of excitement for them to have the first grandbaby and it has really hit me hard. Of course I am happy for them, but I feel like it could just be a lifelong reminder that I should have a son just two months older than theirs.

Sincerely,

Overwhelmed and overthinking