I’m not making excuses, But I had been drinking & I think that’s why I didn’t even think to check if he was wearing one. I made a drs appt & will be getting checked. It’s too late to take a Plan B, if I end up pregnant, I will do what I have to do & raise it. I know my mom & dad will be devastated but I don’t believe in abortions & I couldn’t live the rest of my life wondering what happened to a baby. I will become a Dr. I will not give up. My brother in law already said he will help me if I am. Right now all I can do is wait & plan for if I am or not.

Please no negative comments.

When I was a teenager, I worked at McDonalds & I met my then manager, Liam. He was my brother in laws then best friend. I quit the job after a few months & didn’t hear from him again. Here we are 4 years later, he found me on FB & we started talking. He lived 2.5 hours away so I didn’t expect anything serious to happen or for us to even see each other again.

Well then I moved to a town nearby his. He wanted to meet up so I agreed. I knew from us talking that he didn’t have a license, that he lived with his cousin & was searching for a job & that he had 2 sons. I never dug into anything because I didn’t feel it was my place, we’re just friends. He told me he went through hard times so I gave him benefit of the doubt (I try not to judge). I drove to him & we hung out & got to talking, etc. We did this for a few months.

Well I was nice, he would call & wake me up at 5 am & ask me to take him to job interviews & I wouldn’t even question it. I would get up & drive 30 minutes to him & never ask for gas or anything in return. I wanted him to better his life. I would look for jobs for him, etc. I did my best.

Well my friend & I invited him over to hang out, watch movies, drink, etc. we like to have a good time & we hated the idea of leaving him out. Well he ended up staying the night & we ended up hooking up (him & I). When we talked about it the next day he told me he didn’t use protection, but that he didn’t ejaculate inside me. I wasn’t ovulating or anything so I just told him it wouldn’t happen again & that I wasn’t going to stress on it.

A week passes by, Liam and I are hardly talking, he got a job in the oilfield & my friend sets me up on a date with a guy from our hometown. Liam finds out about it & sends me a ton of messages about how I’m a slut, easy, a liar, I wasted his time, he doesn’t care what I do because we aren’t together, how he’s got oilfield money now & doesn’t need me, etc. This came out of nowhere. I was clearly upset but I ignored it because it is what it is & I don’t have time for that negativity. We end up talking & he didn’t apologize until I kind of threw a fit & even then he still didn’t. We ended up talking & he told me he had feelings but that he didn’t want anything serious right now. I don’t want anything serious either & don’t like him romantically at all, he knows that.

Well after our talk, my friend told me to invite him over. Her boyfriend would be there & it might help everyone calm down if we played some games, etc. so we did. Well of course we had been drinking & I refuse to drive after drinking so I made him a spot on the couch & called it a night. And of course, what happens? We end up hooking up again. Well now I’m ovulating. He said he going to use protection but the next day, I had a feeling something wasn’t right. so I asked him about it. He admitted to me (over the phone, it was on speaker & my best friend was in the car) that he didn’t use protection & lied about it. That he did ejaculate this time & that he knew I was ovulating because he looked on my phone & saw my <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android">Glow app</a> & that he knew what he was doing & that he’s hoping I get pregnant on purpose. I know he had condoms, he showed me them that’s why I thought he was using them, but he said he didn’t because he wanted me to have his kids.

Apart of me feels like I’m to blame for this. I should have made sure he used protection, I should have made sure all precautions were taken care of. I can’t get on birth control because of health issues, my dr refuses to take the risk, but I should have plan b ready or something. But at the same time, I feel disgusted & betrayed. I feel violated. I put my trust into this person & he completely sabotaged the situation.

Also why I don’t want his kids: once finding out he did this, I spoke to my brother in law. We’re quite close and my sister is the judgmental one & would scowl me for making a mistake instead of being supportive. My brother in law is the exact opposite plus this used to be his best friend. So I spoke to him about it & he did a little bit of searching & he learned that he still smokes weed (I had my suspicions but I hate to dig), that he’s still apart of the gang & that he isn’t even apart of his kids lives. Like he’s basically a deadbeat. I’m so sick to my stomach idk what to do. And when I called him out of the gang he told me I belonged to it now because I had sex with him & that I have to deal with it.

I’m going to school to be a Dr, Ive never been around this type of stuff & I feel like I’ve fucked up completely & idk what to do. My brother in law is being kind enough to help me deal with the situation and keep it from my family because my parents & siblings would lose their shit.

Idk what to do...