I love my husband so much he is a man I could have only dreamed of being with. He is so nice, a great husband and an amazing dad to our son (7 months old) he let's me be a stay at home mom and calls me every day to tell me to take it easy as he is out working. It works well for us I do the home stuff and he works.

However, recently and not so recently I have been thinking about a guy I used to talk to we only went out on (not even a date) twice and talked off and on. I always had a boyfriend it seems when he was here and not in other states. I never knew If he liked me or anything. He was nice but could be a jerk. But man is he HOT he looks like John Cena or Channing Tatum but with a bunch of tattoos. Let me tell you he is dreamy.

I texted him a couple times (this past summer) just to see how he was and told him about me getting married and having a son. He then asked me to come see him (I think more in a joking matter) and I said I can't I'm married and he said then why are you texting me? It caught me off guard because I wasn't flirty it was truly an innocent conversation and then we stopped talking which I guess was good so I didn't go doing anything that would cost me the trust and love of my husband.

But what do I do to stop thinking about him or anyone else i have been with.

I am 23 and sometimes I feel like I didn't do much living while I had the chance, before I settled down. I was never a rule breaker but now that I look back i wish i would have broke a few and gone to college to experience that part of me life

My husband is 30 and always tells me these amazing stories of when he went to nashville a half a dozen times and went out west for 6 months and drove cars through the woods and went out to bars and lived and I am always awed at how much fun it all sounds because I never did anything like that.

I love my son beyond words and I wouldn't trade him for the world but I can't help but wonder what living would have been like....