Labor and delivery

I’ll be 19 later this month and I’m pregnant with our second baby girl. I gave birth to our first at 17. She was unplanned but we were over joyed to have her. She was our rainbow baby after a miscarriage when I was 15. She’s 15 months now and the center of our lives. I had a very unpleasant labor and delivery to the point I’m terrified of hospital births. From having a nurse who was new who didn’t know what she was doing, to being told I’m not in labor even though I was definitely contracting the nurse just didn’t have the contraction monitor in the correct place, they couldn’t keep track of my daughters heartbeat for kore than 20 minute say a time, the administered my pitocin dose wrong t doctor wanted me eased in to it but instead they gave me a full blown dose to start, having to get the epidural cause my body was going into shock from pain or face a csection, having to wear a air mask because my daughter wasn’t getting the oxygen she needed, the told me not to push for 30 minutes even though she was already in the birth canal, my doctor not listening to my simple request I ask her to that she agreed to months in advance, my doctor literally yanked my daughter out of me, my daughter didn’t breath when she was born and my doctor gave me a botched episiotomy which still give me pain 15 month after birth. My doctor made me feel like an idiot my entire pregnancy and treated me like a child. My daughter contracted a bacteria influenza in her eye that plagued her until she was 6 months old and she nearly needed surgery. The infection came from the hospital because 3 other mamas who had my same doctor had babies with the same problem. We were going the home birth route but got financial issues and no longer can go that route. I live my new doctor and she helps calm my nerves about birth. But lord I’m more afraid of birth this time than with my first child. My fiancé is as well so we kinda feed off each other’s fears. We have 15 more weeks to prepare for the delivery of our second baby girl and I have no idea how to even begin to cope. If you made it this far thanks for reading I really needed to vent.