HORMONES 😭 long read.

only 19 weeks and hormones are at an all time high seems like. Started with my dad not being home for Christmas. Little back story, he started driving a semi on long hauls earlier this year. He’s home MAYBE 3-4 days each month. He has 5 kids altogether one of them being a 2 year old. He just told us he won’t be home for Christmas after he ran through thanksgiving as well so he could be home for this holiday. They offered him a 750 dollar bonus and he’s taking it...which I completely understand. Even though I am moved out, I’m a huge daddies girl and miss him like crazy. And I’m bawling right now because he won’t be home for Christmas to celebrate with us. Now, on the other hand, back to my pregnancy. My little sister is my baby girl. Has been ever since she was born. She’s undoubtedly my best friend and the daughter I didn’t have before I got pregnant with my babygirl. We are inseparable. I drive to see her every single day so she knows I haven’t forgotten about her. I’m just thinking about this little girl in my tummy and cry because I’m so afraid it won’t ever be the same between me and her again. I know she’s only 2, but she’ll be three by the time my babes gets here and I don’t want her thinking I’ve replaced her or abandoned her. I’m just so terrified my baby will affect our relationship and I know that’s shitty to say but... I can’t imagine loving anyone more than I love this little girl and I feel guilty for loving my daughter more.. literally all this overthinking is going to kill me...