Long story short - my husband asked me to lose weight, he said he’ll love me even more than he does now. He says he’s pictured me how I’d look smaller.

Backstory:

When we met, I was on my weight loss journey. I had lost 50-60 lbs when we started talking. The lowest weight I had been since freshman year of high school (210). (I’m 24, 265lbs, 5ft 2in tall).

We married and I had gained about 10 lbs at that time and he weighed in the 270’s-280’s but he’s almost 6ft tall. The 1st year of marriage I gained all the weight I’d lost and then some during this year after my miscarriage.

He started a new job back in September and he’s lost about 30lbs-35lbs in 2.5 months. I have 2 herniated discs and they have been acting up a lot recently. So I think him seeing me like this, sickly and such is affecting his view of me. He says where’s the girl he met 2 years ago?

I feel very self conscious about myself already due to my build and with this, it’s just another blow.

I’m sort of blocking him off. I’m trying to not feel his words and I’m feeling bitter towards him. I loved him when he was big, when he was regular and now that he’s losing weight. Not once have I said anything picking about his body. So why would he about mine?

He even told me he wishes he would’ve meet me when I was bigger so maybe he wouldn’t be so concentrated on this subject. I’m starting a diet/exercise regime on Monday (& holding off on TTC) but just because — I really hate myself, how could I believe someone truly loved me as I change.

Thanks for reading, just needed to vent.