Scared to get pregnant.. again

I’m the only person in my entire family that had a complicated pregnancy that resulted in my son dying so I have no one to talk to about this.. anyways long story short, I did everything by the book to have a healthy pregnancy but my kidneys decided to shut down, my right leg swelled so I was admitted to the hospital where I gained 12 lbs in 24 hrs. I was then transferred to a hospital outside of my community that handles premature births.. I had my little boy just 24 hrs after arriving, he was 3 months early and only weighing 1 lb 14 oz. 28 days later I had to hold my little boy for the last time and watch him die in my arms feeling extremely helpless.. my kidneys shut down and my blood pressure skyrocketed to dangerous grounds while pregnant with him because of preeclampsia. It’s been 5 years now and I have recently gotten married and we are talking kids. I am absolutely scared to death to try again, but he wants me to see a doctor before we try.. am I crazy for being this scared? Should I see a doctor like my husband wants me to? I don’t want to go into a doctors office, tell them my story and they tell me I’m crazy for worrying and what not.