So I’ve been talking to this guy for over a year and I’m completely in love with him and he was with me but he lives in another state so it’s been rough. Anyways, he and I were arguing a lot recently but we had gotten over it every time and went back to ourself joking and loving but there’s been a lack of emotion from both of us because it just got too hard to keep expressing our feelings for one another cause being so far it hurt more than it helped.

Onto the part that’s gotten me into a rut and beyond freaking sad. I recently told one of my close friends about him, I’d say about a month ago (I’m extremely closed off when it comes to relationships and my issues), she started off fine with him n what not but when I told her about our petty fights she went out of her way to tell him he didn’t deserve me and that he’d hurt me even though I’d tell her after he and I would settle everything.

Last weekend I was with her at lunch and she got the brilliant idea to express how she really felt about him, as if she didn’t already do that in the first place, but she used my phone sending him hate videos and I was falling asleep at the time and trusted she was just taking them and deleting them cause she’s known to do that. But it turns out she was sending them. I was furious immediately and neglected lecturing her ass to try and rectify whatever little wreckage I could with him but he’d already removed me from snap, Twitter, insta, so literally all I had left to try was his phone number and email. We didn’t fight this time, I apologized, tried to explain what happened, but I think he got it in his head that the reason she was saying those things was because i had said them (I DIDNT) but I’m guessing that’s where his mind went. He branded himself a fuck up and sent him a long winded text explaining how that wasn’t true to me and it shouldn’t matter what others say about him, usually he’s an I don’t get a fuck about anyone or what they think of me person, but because I think that he thinks I was the one to say it through my friend he took it directly to the heart. I haven’t been able to reach him since Friday. I miss my boy y’all. I hate my friend, and she broke my trust and she says she’ll try to fix it and whatever but she hasn’t tried nor does she even give a flying flock.

I honestly think she did it out of jealousy or because I had finally put my attention towards someone else and she knew about it.

I want to talk to him so bad, but I don’t want to make it worse or breach his bubble of space. It’s nearly been a week and it’s been really hard for me.

I don’t know what I should do, I really hope someone reads this and can maybe provide some guidance because I need it more than ever.