Grandmother not bonding?

(Long) my apologies

So my mother is my best friend. I’d say maybe not the healthiest because we act more like sisters than a mother or daughter. She talks about finances, relationship with my step dad, her job etc just like a best friend or a close sister. We talk everyday even after baby.

When my baby was born I thought she would love this baby.....but weird behavior has happened. When my daughter was born she had health complications but my mom kinda kept her distance. She flew from Alaska to Georgia and she did go to hospital daily but she’d take her time and get coffee in the morning or be late or go downtown like she was on vacation, while we were stuck in hospital while we figured daughters jaundice and a blood disorder she has. Then when we were finally discharged to go home mom would hide in our guest bedroom and wanted to leave early. It really really hurt my feelings. I asked her multiple times if something was wrong or if we were making her feel uncomfortable in anyway, all I got was no of course not just looks like you guys got it. ( I did not I really wanted her there).though she didn’t care I was still healing and kept getting me out of house to shop see things around our town. I texted my dad what’s up and he just said my mom never feels comfortable in other peoples houses. I was like whatever and let it go (no need to cause fight) and let her go home on time.

We text every day and call often. I send pics of baby and FaceTime often. She says I want you to come up in December I’ll pay half your ticket.

Fast word to this month we visited her in Alaska. She has been controlling annoyed and irritated by me and my husband after 3rd day of visit. Says snappy remarks and leaves often. I let it happen a couple days. Asked my dad what was wrong and he said nothing just my mom being mom (they have a very disrespectful volatile relationship but usually she is nice to me) She snaps at me. I got very angry and annoyed for a day (no confrontation) and then she said she was sick of my passive aggressive behavior and said I should stay at my Inlaws instead. (Kicked us out) I finally blew. I screamed horrible mean things I will not repeat. Along the the lines of not there for me, I mentioned the birth of daughter, horrible mom and you will die alone. Not my proudest moment (very childish) but I was so angry she would kick me my husband and my new baby out and I’m not understanding her weird behavior.

Jealous of baby? Not bonding with baby? I can’t understand her weird behavior. I regret screaming mean things but I also put up with so much the last visit. Of her being extremely mean and disrespectful in how she talks and acts to me and my husband Or just lack of caring about me and our new family members. What’s should I do? I want her in my life and my babies life but I’d like her to just be nice and not cuss or snap for the 10 days we are here. Unreasonable? Are my expectations too high? (She mentioned this that I have to high expectations of her) How can I have a relationship moving forward? I hurt and feel like I’m losing my mom and best friend.