Recently had sex for the first time: how do you make orgasms work?

So let me preface this by saying I am a very sex-positive woman who has been masturbating and engaging in self-love practices for a long time now. I’ve definitely experienced multiple orgasms by my own hand (never owned a vibrator or any sex-toy, but let me throw a side note in here that I am in the market for one lol). That being said, at twenty-four I recently had sex for the very first time last month, and as you can imagine it’s been quite the fucking experience.

We’ve only had sex four times total. It’s been a trip because I’m experiencing, feeling, acting out, and learning a lot of new things — things I’ve wanted to try, things that have come naturally that I didn’t even know I was into, etc. Fortunately (and as it should be for everyone) my partner is very communicative, and makes it clear he wants to know what works for me, and wants to make sexual experiences with him the best that they can be for me. Cool. The issue is that upon research, I notice that a lot of schools of thought lean towards the idea that it’s harder for women to finish/come from penetrative sex.

If you’re so inclined, you can share with me your personal thoughts on that statement.

Although I enjoy having sex with him, and I enjoy the act itself, these past four times I’ve only come once and it was because I was touching myself. I want to be able to reach orgasm with him, but I don’t know how exactly? When we try different positions I feel around to get a vibe for what I’m feeling, to see if I’m super aroused by anything in particular. And so far I’ve deduced that cowgirl and doggystyle work, but I still don’t feel like I’m getting THERE there.

Now, when I masturbate it’s always clitoral stimulation, etc. I’ve never actually played around with fingering myself because (corny as this sounds! judge me all you want) since I’d never had anything inserted in me I didn’t want to explore with my fingers lol. Now that that’s changed, I’m wanting to see what I can feel and what I can make myself feel down there so I can share this with my partner. Some of you have posted awesome information about vaginal massaging and finding your G-Spot and I really want to try that out! I’m excited.

Anyways. I’ve read some horror stories about women who’ve never reached orgasms from sex with men, like, ever. And I know that can be because of a variety of factors. But even still. I would like to be able to say that I HAVE reached climax through sex with my partner. I understand I’m very inexperienced and have so much to learn —

I would appreciate any tips or bits of advice! Thank you for the taking the time to read this 💗