September 12, 2018 so many things happened this day. I went in for an ultrasound that morning, I was 37 weeks and 6 days pregnant With my first child. I was telling the ultrasound tech how excited I was to meet you soon. That I was soooo over being pregnant. I asked how much you weighed now.. as the week before you were around 5lbs and some ounces... she said she wasn’t sure, that she wasn’t getting those measurements as I already knew I was there because my fluid was low on September 5th and that’s why I was having a repeat ultrasound. I felt like something was a bit off but I played it off as just me being nervous about them possibly inducing me that day. The lady left the room for a bit only to come back with a different lady who, was very friendly and then she said she had bad news... I’m like okay what is it? She says to you father and I “I’m so sorry but your baby had passed away.” I look at your dad shocked as he starts asking how can this be... my entire world has fallen apart in a matter of hours. September 11th I went to sleep and you were fine I felt you kicking in the shower. How was it that in a matter of hours you had died? I was given 2 options. Either go home and wait for labor to start naturally on its own, or I could be admitted to be induced. I couldn’t bare the thought of walking around for days or even weeks with you like this in my body. I chose to be admitted. I got set up in the L&D room and from there we started to notify family on both sides. They gave me cytotec and said it would soften my cervix but wouldn’t onset labor that they would have to give me Pitocin. I received about 3 round of the cytotec before I started having contractions pretty regularly, I was only dilated about 3cm. I wound up eyeing an epidural. By the time I was 6cm the epidural had worn off. I went from 6-9.5 cm in a matter of 15 minutes and I had a very strong urge to push but I had to wait until I was 10 cm completely. Then I could start pushing. I finally got to 10 and I felt everything. At 9:48pm I had my daughter, Xariaya Snow Morales weighing 6lbs 1oz and 18 inches long. Beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes. Which was shocking given her father was a super dark Puerto Rican 😂 I guess my genes were strong too. I had a stillborn. My heart is still broken and all I have is your ashes in a jar and pictures. I’m so very thankful for all the pictures I have 😓 I miss you so so very much and today makes exactly 3 months.