When I started TTC I was using Glow and was reading all these sad stories on the app about women who had been TTC for 6 months or a year or 3 years or 8 years before finally getting pregnant. And I thought, “I am never gonna get pregnant, it’s gonna take forever to conceive,” and then my second month TTC, I got a BFP 9DPO. I was in disbelief that it happened so fast, and obviously I was ecstatic. I had taken the test expecting a negative, but as I was getting off the toilet and pulling my pants up I saw that faint second pink line starting to appear and my heart dropped into my stomach. I was in disbelief, but my heart felt so full. When I announced the news on Glow, I had so many women asking what my symptoms were, asking how many DPO I was, and I knew they were asking because they needed some kind of hope to hang on to. They needed me to tell them something to help them believe they would be pregnant this cycle. And I knew that feeling from my first month TTC when I didn’t get pregnant. Even after I got my period I was posting in groups asking if anyone ended up being pregnant after getting what they thought was a period 😂 because women who are TTC never really lose hope, even when they have every reason to lose it. Even when they say “I’ve given up hope, this isn’t gonna happen for me” they know and we know that they are still hoping for those 2 pink lines. Anyway, once I got past the disbelief of my BFP, I felt sad, because I thought about all the women on Glow who had been TTC so much longer than I had and didn’t have any luck getting pregnant. And here I am, pregnant after 2 short months. It doesn’t feel fair. There are women who are more prepared for a baby than I am, women who emotionally NEED a baby more than I do, and a lot of those women still haven’t gotten pregnant despite their best efforts and that breaks my heart. I’m now 16 weeks 6 days, and I don’t regret this pregnancy or my daughter and I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world, but I do feel so guilty for being so easily blessed. I know that feeling, that urge & that craving to be a mother. It’s one of the strongest feelings in the world, and I just wish every woman who ever felt that feeling could have her needs satisfied. Everyone on this app deserves to be a mother, everyone on this app deserves to have their little baby, or their rainbow baby. We all deserve to have children and we all will, no matter how long it takes. I hope those of you who are TTC never stop trying, and please know that I’m thinking of you and praying for you every night. Wishing everybody lost of pink lines, healthy pregnancies and safe deliveries!❤️