Ok so I know as the older sister I can be a bit overprotective but over the years ive gotten alot better about giving him his own space and making his own decisions. After all, he is grown now..

However I have no idea how to deal with this girlfriend hes had for a few weeks off and on... they have alot of history which only makes it harder to call her out without hurting feelings. I try to not hold their old past over her head as obviously its none of my bussiness but my brother has every right to not trust her lets put it that way.

Anyways, to me shes very nice super talkative and she trys really hard to be my friend. Of course im nice to her because thats the right thing to do.. i make small talk and always try to make her feel welcome despite the way she treats my brother..

Heres where i have a problem. Like i said to me shes super respectful but to my brother shes very rude and kind of condesending.. he'll make a joke and shes say "haha thats not funny" in a very rude not funny sort of way... or me and her will be talking during a movie but my brother talks and she tells him to "shhhhh" over and over as he trys to get out a sentence.

I dont know how to tell her to stop talking to him that way without upsetting everyone. Frankly its not really my place to get involved with his relationship so I try to stay out of it unless he wants advice he comes to me for.. which is often to the point I am pretty over their situation.

Its like my brother pushes me to have conversations or have a friendship with her but how can I hang out with them if I have to watch his defeated look on his face when she shuts him down??

Tonight he made her a big dinner. He spent alot of the little money he has to treat her to a nice meal and she couldnt even say "wow thanks this is great".. i had to pull it out of her because I didnt want my brother to feel unappreciated. As my brother is cooking away in the kitchen not being much involved in the conversation because she doesnt really let him.. she started talking about how "cute" some singer is and she watches videos of muscular men dancing. My brother is very insecure about his weight and the way he looks. Hes come so far to get to where he is now and shes treating him like this... i know why hes with her and its not for the physical or even because of the emotional support shes suppose to give him.. its because hes lonely and feels shes the best he can do.

Ive tried so so hard to give her the benifit of the doubt. Ive tried being friends with her when I dont really want to be. Ive tried talking to him about how shes not the best he can do that he can do way better.

He keeps asking what I think of her and I know its because he knows I tell it like it is. I dont have the heart to tell him what I really think because everytime I say anything in the slightest bit doubtful he just gets defensive, depressed and mad. He has depression and a few other things and I dont want to hurt him more then he already is.

Truth is shes not really good for him.. sure she occupies his time but shes not the type of chick youd want to see your sibling with. I dont even know how to approach the situation.

On one hand I know theyll break up again with time as they have always been very back and forth (she gets bored and moves onto another guy or hell get tired of her being overbearring) but at the same time this is almost getting to be unbearable to watch.

The look on his face was simular to the one in the GIF below.

Tonight I finally left them alone because he wanted to spend time with her and when im in the room its as if hes not there. I could tell he was feeling really sad and hurt. He worked ALL DAY to scrape up a bit of money for her and she doesnt even say thank you.

My brother has alot of paranoia so I dont want to start telling him my concerns about her as I know itll only stress him out. Should I sit him down and say what I think? Or let them ride it out because its none of my bussiness and itll only hurt him?

Also, her family has always been extremely rude to him. Im talking racist. Shes having a get together with her family and he asked me if id go with him. I dont want to because I know I wouldnt just keep my mouth shut and watch someone treat my brother like trash. Id be out of there dragging him out with me within the first hour. Shes not racist but she doesnt say anything to her family to stand up for him. She just lets it happen. Disgusting. I just dont know what to do at this point.. am I wrong for feeling the way I do?? I want to help him out but im just unsure about how to deal with this.. no i dont want to fight her I dont think thatd do anything but cause more issues and make me look weak. Shes alot smaller then me and frankly I dont want to hurt anyone I just want my brother happy.