Venting, maybe I’m an idiot

Out of an 8 year relationship, 5 years married and 4 children. It was extremely toxic, it was apparent to a few people after the birth of my first birth and progressively got worse.

Lots of psychological and emotional abuse, didn’t realize how bad it was until I began therapy and I started dating.

Started dating present partner almost 2 years after my separation (even tho we were more estranged during the two years prior to that separation)

My present partner was awesome at first, i was working heavily on my self esteem and he helped, with beautiful encouraging words.

He was a total sweetheart, he met my family (kids and my mom) but lately I feel like things are going to shit and he tells me things are going to get better (I’ve been hearing it for 10 months but they haven’t)

I try to talk things out and I’ve even told him this isn’t working out we shouldn’t try anymore, things aren’t working out or getting better

I’ve been understanding of his job training and new job position (it requires a lot)

But I don’t feel I should be sidelined completely and he doesn’t seem to understand that.

I’ve begun to think he’s involved with someone else or he had someone else before meeting me and he’s using for sex.

I an also so use to everything being my fault. I still haven’t overcome that.