My husband and I got married a month ago and had been together 4 years prior to walking down the aisle. He’s my best friend and I’ve been so happy finally being married. Well, last night he asked me what I thought of an open marriage. I’m shocked he even asked- he knows how I feel about monogamy as I’ve never been shy to express that opinion (not saying not being monogamous is bad, but it’s definitely not for me).

His reason is that he’s questioning his sexuality and wants to experiment with men and to be fair to me I too can sleep with other people. I’m just shocked- why now? After four years? We’ve been having sex for 3 of those years and have lived together for a year since being engaged. I believe sexuality is something you’re born with and while people can discover their sexuality later in life, I’m having a very hard time believing this is something he’s been feeling for a short period of time. Why marry me (less than 5 weeks ago) if he felt like he might be gay? Or if he might want to experiment when he knows this isn’t something I’m ok with at all? I wouldn’t care if he was bisexual, but I care that he feels like he needs to step out of our marriage. (I’d only care that he was gay because then he doesn’t love me the way I deserve as he’s not attracted to me like that which is fine, but I don’t want to be stuck in a marriage with someone who is gay).

I got really angry. He proceed to call me a bitch for not understand and wanting him to be happy, etc. But, I just feel betrayed and lied to. I don’t believe he just came to this conclusion in the few weeks since our marriage. He had to have had some sort of feeling prior to this and if he was questioning his sexuality then why marry me? I’m so hurt, but apparently being hurt makes me a bitch. I’m obviously not enough for him at the very least. And him being so negative and rude to me is also very out of character. I feel like I married a total stranger.

I packed my things and went home to my parents last night. I just couldn’t stay in the house. My parents are furious with him (yes I told them what happened because I couldn’t just show up at 3am in tears without an explanation) too and my mother, who is very against divorce, has suggested it to me. I agree with her in a way. I want to be enough for my husband and that’s not the case so I do think this isn’t a healthy marriage. I’m just lost. He keeps messaging and calling telling me to come home and then when I don’t respond (I did tell him to give me a few days as I need space to process this) he gets means again saying I’m a child for not dealing with this and I need to get over myself. Somehow my fairytale relationship turned into a nightmare over night and now I’m stuck feeling completely destroyed and betrayed, but also like this horrible person that can’t love and support my husband enough.