My soon to be fiancé apparently hates Christmas. This year is the first year he has actually made that clear. He would come to my family’s Christmas’s with me before this year and I could tell he didn’t really want to be there, though he has said before he had a great time, but now he won’t even come and says fuck Christmas.

Maybe it’s possible he’s being like this because his family lives far away so he never spends it with them (though he says that’s not the reason, he said he hates Christmas in general, but I know if they were here he’d be spending it with them)... I think it’s more so that he thinks he too “cool” to come to my family’s Christmas all of the sudden or too cool to see my family at all.

He has been refusing to see my family at all since a half year ago. I have a small close family and they love him, they get along great. My brother is his age and they play pool and occasionally drink and have a good time when they do see each other, my dad does too.

He promises that this has nothing to do with my family. He makes excuses that he is exhausted from work, but he has time to at least show up for a few hours and he refuses. My family still bought him gifts anyway and he got them nothing (which I personally don’t care just adding that in there).

I understand that I can’t change him and I’m not going to force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. But my family is starting to think he doesn’t even like them because he never wants to see them. Or they think he doesn’t care that much for me. They’re worried, understandably. As am I. Because he knows it means something to me to have him there with me for Christmas or at least try to make an effort.

I’m not going to blow this out of proportion with him. I just gently have told him my honest feelings about it. He acts like he doesn’t care and like expects me to not have any feelings on the subject because he says so, because he doesn’t like family time. I just am afraid this will become an every year thing, or he will continue to refuse to see my family at all for any other reason like he has been for the last half year. I feel he is being selfish. I make sacrifices for him in the relationship but where is his small sacrifice to see my family for even a few hours on Christmas with me? His family did visit a while ago and I was present throughout the whole week. It’s not like we have even seen my family that much throughout the year in the past. I go see them without him pretty often.

What do you think of this?