Need to vent: he only gets like this when he’s drinking.....

Lately my husband has been very verbally insulting. He’s cursing more and RANDOMLY insulting me. I don’t know if he’s stressed out financially due to the holiday season but lately he has been intentionally getting drunk and when he does we are going back to square one. We went a 2 months not arguing when we are mad at each-other and waiting until we are calm to talk about it. We have a history of physical domestic violence and we had to figure a way to stop before someone gets arrested or hurt so that’s what we have been practicing We have come a long way and lately it feels like we are going backwards.

It literally tears my heart into pieces, because I have no fucking idea what I’m doing wrong. I wonder if he feels like I’m ungrateful or judging him internally cause he can’t afford what I want. I told him I rather him pay his bills than stress about buying me things.

Today we came home from looking at a house and he immediately starting drinking and shutting me out. Then I got frustrated and started calling him out on his shit. Then we began arguing. I had to go in the other room because I could feel my blood boiling.

UPDATED:

I’m so grateful for comments. It’s not as simple as leaving, he’s my husband and we are constantly working on our marriage. I just needed to vent, I don’t really know what the fuck the solution is