I posted a smaller post about the incident before so the story may seem familiar to some ladies on the general pregnancy group. Sorry it's long...

On Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> I had to go into L&D with pretty good bleeding at 22w pregnant after intercourse irritated my cervix pretty badly.

I had turned down my husband all week because I just haven't felt any sort of sex drive since I got pregnant and he finally begged, and poked, and prodded long enough I said yes.

I've had 2 miscarriages before, no cause ever sought, always following the day after intercourse, and ever since I just can't seem to get in the mood again. It's been a constant struggle of holding him off and having to constantly reassure him that I still "need" him.

I never told him this (although you would hope the connection would come into his mind) because I don't want to place the blame of losing the babies 'on someone' if that makes sense.

The first miscarriage at 8w started late at night and I panicked so I went to the ER. I had to go alone because we had no one to watch our son. It was the worst experience of my life and I thought I could handle it alone but it was a mistake.

When I started bleeding this time I asked him to go with me and told him I didn't want to go alone again but he just wouldn't go. We would of had to call my parents to watch our son (15min drive for them) but he didn't want to worry them. He just told me that if anything WAS wrong to just call and we'd let my parents know.

To make it worse he fell asleep an hour after I got there (10pm) so I couldn't even text him, he left me alone, again.

I slept on the couch once I got home a little after midnight and didn't even bother waking him up. He finally noticed I wasn't in bed around 4am and found me in the living room to ask if everything was ok.

Christmas Day was rough and he was in a shitty mood from the get go because we spent the day with my parents. Then I could just see the disappointment in the gifts I got him. I still don't think he's messed with them since.

Anyway, everything was fine with the baby. I was put on pelvic rest, and light duty. Obviously no more sex (blessing to tell him a actual medical reason).

I'm just drained. I can't look at him the same without thinking selfish and just gross about the situation.