New Years is coming up and I’ve had such a terrible year. I left my sons dad in July because he was controlling and abusive (emotionally, verbally, and sometimes physically).

He forced me to have sex with him less than 3 weeks postpartum, I have damage where my stitches were because it was ripped out from that encounter, and I have just been trying to take care of my mental health ever since I’ve left.

My son is about to celebrate his first New Years but with the crazy year I’ve had, I want to go to a New Years party with friends I haven’t talked to since I got with my sons dad. My mom tells me my son can’t spend the night at his dads house and my sons dad is making me feel like a terrible mother for wanting one night away.

Ever since he was born, I did everything. We all lived together but my sons dad didn’t do a single thing. He just complained about how I wouldn’t cuddle with him throughout the night (mind you we co-slept with the baby so I was in the middle making sure he was okay), or that I wasn’t doing enough in the relationship. I’m 18 and I feel like I should be able to have a night to myself since I haven’t had one in 2 years but everyone around me is making me feel like I can’t.