Not very motherly anymore?

Quick background

I had my tubes untied six months ago so my husband and I could try for baby number four. No luck so far

I just babysat my friends three kids. I have three boys 11, 9, and 6. Her kids are 9, 5, and 2. The youngest are girls. I have always wanted a daughter.

I painted their nails. Combed their hair. Played with stuffed animals. Colored together. Watched tinker bell. The littlest one took a nap and woke up wanting to be held. My back was on fire after holding her for about 20 mins.

After she left I started to wonder if my baby days are over? I was counting the final 30 mins down and couldn’t wait to not be needed to that degree anymore.

I had an LH surge yesterday and we’ve obviously been having unprotected sex. Now I’m second guessing if I’m not that motherly anymore? Do I really want to feel sleep deprived again? Worry about coughs and colds for an infant?

How do I know what the right choice is?