Last night a good friend of mine told me she was pregnant. This will be her second child while her first just turned one recently. I feel so awful because I forced myself to smile and be happy but inside I was hurting. She just announced so causally like getting pregnant isn’t hard. However the night continued on and we rang in the new year forgetting the pain for the moment.

This morning as I am sitting here reflecting the hurt hit me. Instant tears. I just keep wondering why not me God? When will it be my turn? I hate feeling like this and throwing myself my own little pity party. I also feel terrible for being jealous of her pregnancy. Am I alone in feeling this way?