What can I do to help my cousin?

Question

Me and my cousin got pregnant 14 weeks after each other (I got pregnant first) and we where so excited. She had been trying to have her second baby for 3 years and have had 2 miscarriage and one ectopic pregnancy. Well when she went to the clinic again she was told she was having another ectopic pregnancy and would need both her tubes removed. She was absolutely devastated. They can’t afford

or adoption so they just kinda can’t have a new baby.

Over Christmas we where sitting around the living room and her mom commented on how I was getting so big and that my son was gonna be chunky. When I looked over at My cousin she was just crying. I can’t imagine what she’s going through. She’s said multiple-times that she wishes her body would just work because it worked once before and she was excited to have our babies be so close in age because everyone else has someone around there age in the family.

I don’t know what to do to help her or imagine what she’s going through because I’ve never had a miscarriage.

Answer

There isn’t much you can do besides offer her your shoulder and support.  You can try not to talk about your pregnancy around her if you think that will help, but this is something she has to work through.

Answer

The worse part about my miscarriage was that so many people knew about the pregnancy before I was ready to tell. 
And  I was always told that I was young and that everything would be fine, until it wasn’t. 
And then I had to tell EVERYONE I miscarried because I didn’t know who knew and who didn’t at that point. 
The worse part is everyone knowing you lost a baby and assuming/knowing you can’t have kids. People talk different around you. People talk about you. People have little remarks about it that hurt. People will talk about babies and then remember you are in the room and hush. 
I think you should talk to her about what she wants. 
For me, my best friend and I were pregnant at the same time. She asked me if it bothered me when she talked about being pregnant and I told her no, but it bothered me a little when she complained to me about it/said she wished she wasn’t anymore. 
And from there, we grew closer. She let me be involved with her gender reveal (she actually gave me the envelope and had me surprise everyone) and her baby shower. I was there when her baby was born. 
I thought those things were going to be much harder for me because I lost my baby, but they actually made me feel better. Because although it wasn’t my baby I felt like part of the process. 
And there were times where I did tell her I needed a break. 
But then again, it depends on how close you are

What can I do to help my cousin?

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