Bfn all November & December long.....

Wanted to go into the new year with good news, af is due on my birthday 1/5 and I took a test 12/31 and still bfn.

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna see af in the next few days :(

Doesn't help my doctor told me my weight is an embarrassment and a issue. All he has done since going to him in October after a year of trying on our own is stick me on Clomid, he hasn't done anything else, no testing or ultrasounds to check everything out....January will be my 3rd round of Clomid and I'm just....I'm at the point I wanna give up because I don't feel motivated....ever since that doctors appointment I have felt worthless and like a lost cause. He told my husband don't bother getting his sperm checked cause it's most my fault were having issues...after my appointment on 12/27 my husband and I were sitting in the car and I fell apart...I've never felt so discouraged.

I can honestly say I guess I'm not meant to be a mom....

I'm already looking at 2019 as the year I avoid all family members and events because I feel like any more pressure about having kids is just gonna trigger my depression and I'm gonna end up hurting myself like usual.