Gender Disappointment

I’m only 7 1/2 weeks along. This is to be my 3rd, and last, baby. I have a daughter, who will be 7 by the time baby arrives, and a boy, who will be 3. I’m still months away from finding out the sex of my baby but I’m anxious to find out and honestly, a little nervous. I don’t want another girl. I feel sooo selfish about those feelings, but I’m fearful of finding out in a few months, that it will be another girl, and then feeling disappointment. I’m so thankful and lucky to be able to have healthy babies and pregnancies and hate that I’m fearful of finding out the sex, just because I don’t want another daughter. It’s been eating away at me since I saw the positive HPT. I know I’m probably feeling this way for stupid reasons, but I can’t even verbalize what those reasons are! I just have this deep feeling/knowing that I don’t want another girl. With my previous babies, I didn’t want one sex over another... so this is a whole new experience for me.