Right so for some reason I’m constantly afraid of getting sexually assaulted and/or raped. I do not know why, sometimes I even have dreams about guys I know forcing me more or less to have sex with them. I’m 20, I’ve only had 2 sexual partners so far and although I’m craving some (haven’t had sex in over a year 😒) I’m somehow afraid to get that close with anyone because I keep thinking they may not stop if I don’t want to do it anymore. I guess us women in particular have a fear to some extent of being in this situation, but the sad part is I even feel like this about my dad... and I cannot explain why. He’s an amazing father, honestly I couldn’t have asked for a better father but whenever I’m home alone with him I keep thinking “what if...?” my mum went to see her parents today and is coming back next Saturday so I’ll be in a constant fear till she gets back.

I have never been molested as a child or anything like that, the only thing that may have triggered this fear of mine is my uncle who kept messaging me when I was around 15-16, putting kisses over each text, asking me to go clubbing with him, telling me he’ll come over when my parents are at work. When he had to come over to drop some things off at our house when my parents were at work I didn’t even invite him in the house. I kept him in the hallway and had my pepper spray in my pocket. But that was a few years ago as I mentioned and I remember feeling this way towards men before that... is it normal? Am I crazy?