I just want to tell Me something...

Dear 12 year old me,

Your father does love you (as much as he can right now)....he has his own demons he's dealing with right now. He won't be in your life for the next 16+ years. Please don't lose yourself trying to replace his presence you are more than enough and it is not your fault.

Dear 13 year old me,

Stand up for yourself, don't let those people spread rumors about you and get away with it. Your virginity is precious, don't sleep with that boy just because everyone else around you is having sex and you just want to get it over with.

Dear 14 year old me,

That 23 year old that hangs out at the football / basketball games isn't into you because he genuinely sees the beautiful person you are, he's a predator and does not have good intentions for you (and the other 14-16 year old girls insists on surrounding himself with).

Dear 15 year old me,

It's not ok to be in your 26-year-old teacher's house alone at night no matter how mature he says you are (or how mature you may feel).

Dear 21 to 26 year old me,

Love does not hurt. The strength of your relationship is not measured by how much your can endure WITHIN your relationship. It is not okay for him to take his frustrations out on you. You shouldn't be crying every day. He doesn't deserve your tears or your affection. That pain you feel deep in your chest is your soul telling you to GET OUT, his "sorry's" mean nothing, and he will do it again. You deserve to be loved in every way you've imagined. No matter how much he trys to convince you otherwise, someone will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Just because he can't do it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. But you need to love yourself first.... I don't know when you stopped doing that.

Dear 27 year old me,

You need to heal! You are hurt and bleeding right now and the vultures can sense it. I know you feel lonely but you need to take your time to get to know yourself. What do you like to do, what do you like to eat? You've done great in school and I am very proud of you buuuuuttt....who are you?!?

Dear 28 year old me,

I know you're busy with work and school again but that constant fatigue and lack of motivation you are feeling is depression, please talk to someone if you don't know what steps to take next.

Dear future 29 year old me,

I love you as much as I know how to right now and I'm sorry because I know it's not truly what you deserve... keep going to the gym and eating right. You keep going through the same lessons because you haven't learned what God is trying to teach. Take your time and be gentle with yourself and surround yourself with others that will do the same.