I’m really just looking for someone to tell me I’m crazy. That I’m stupid or selfish -anything

I gave birth to my beautiful twins in July. My firsts. My husband, however, has two other children.

I talked with him a long time prior to actually going to have my children that I WANTED IT TO JUST BE US. He agreed. He stated that it was fine.

Well it’s the day before I go into my scheduled C-Section and his mother (ugh!!!!!!) says that she wants to be there, even if it means she has to sit out in the parking lot. WHAT THE FUCK EVER.

So I tell my family not to come until invited. They get pissed but they respect me. Awesome, my family is pissed on the most important day of my life.

Now, keep in mind, im having a csection. Im scared out of my mind. I’ve expressed this to my husband multiple times. He’s aware of this irrational fear I have of dying and what not.

HIS MOTHER COMES THE DAY BEFORE I AM SCHEDULED TO GO IN. My last day as just me and my husband before OUR kids and she is there! I was pissed. His mother is a damn alcoholic too. My point on that is... MY HUSBAND DRINKA WITH HIS MOTHER AND GETA DRUNK THE NIGHT BEFORE I GO IN ON WHAT I FEEL IS GOING TO BE MY LAST DAY ON EARTH BECAUSE IM GOING TO DIE FROM THIS SURGERY. The night before I become a mother, my husband is dancing in the living room, drunk, with his mother while I lay in my bed, terrified.

Next morning, I wake up, and his mother is up and ready to go with us. HA. She already knows that I don’t want visitors. Guess what... SHE DOESNT CARE.

She is there the whole damn time!! My husband doesn’t say shit to her.

I get back from surgery and she’s there. Of course. I don’t even get any time of just me my husband and babies without HER being there.

Then she comes back EVERY SINGLE DAY IM AT THE HOSPITAL. My husband leaves me and goes to eat with his mother the first night. I’m alone with twins, my first day, after a csection.

Day 2. She’s there, baby is crying. A mile away from me. Or so it feels because I’m in so much pain, and she says “your baby is crying. Are you gonna feed her or what?”

WTF.

SHE RUINED THE BIRTH OF MY CHILDREN.

I HATE HER.

Is it crazy of me to not want to be around her? For me to not want her at my home?

Is my husband just a pos or am I crazy

Help me. I need calmed down or I need advice. Fast.

She’s at my house and I’m seriously considering divorcing him because he knows how I feel about her and he doesn’t even give a shit.